Again, a blog without pictures. I have not done much of anything this wekeend, I was in town yesterday. I was browsing books in the best bookstore in town, they have a lot of good books there.
The apartment got cleaned also. It is hard trying to make it work, because both me and my daughter have real trouble seeing the mess, and my husband is the one picking up after us. He gets tired of it, and I have no idea how to solve it. I try, I really, really try, but it is so hard. And it triggers stuff for me, with my upbringing. I get scared, because that was what I was when I was growing up, scared. I never did seem to do anything right, and it feels that way now to.
It seems that I am anxious all the time now. I do realise that I do not take care of my body at all, I do not excercise, I do not eat right. I all the wrong things to feel good, but it is hard to change. I feel really anxious when I leave the apartment by myself, and that is why I prefer to stay at home. I feel like I am waiting for a attack when I am outside. I have trouble when it is to light, and now it is weird weather. It is supposed to be winter and snow, it feels like spring.
Well, perhaps I will try and meditate and take a walk sometime. Maybe then I would feel better. But it is boring!